Becoming the person you ARE is more than just being that person while you’re home alone. We have to figure out how to be ourselves in day to day situations.
Around people we like and when were around people we don't. When we're around people we respect, or people we fear, or people we don’t understand. We’re called to be the best version of ourselves in all circumstances.
What does this mean and why? Shouldn’t we have some filter per situation? I’m not saying treat your barista like your wife. What I’m saying is be the person you are deep inside, always. We’re programmed to be scared of what people think of us.
We’re raised in a social world now where most of what we're seeing of other people is through a highlight. We don’t know, or we forget at least, that everyone suffers. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be human and there wouldn’t be the need to learn or to grow or to even experience new things. It’s the consequence of the gift we’ve been given, life.
Why do we feel the need to shelter ourselves from outside opinions? Well, fear is at the foundation of our humanity. Fear is innate and keeps a species surviving. We’re always going to be scared of dangerous things and that’s definitely a good thing. Since you’re reading this, you’re likely not wondering in the back of your mind, if a lion will sneak up and eat you. So, our bodies and minds fall back on other means to “keep us safe”. In society now, that means making sure our feelings stay safe.
I will be the first to admit that I’m scared of a lot of things. Silly things like loud noises and filling up my tires at the gas stations. I mean, can you imagine how loud it would be if I filled it up too much!? When I have a meeting with someone new, I worry if they’ll like me. Or I worry if I’ll like them. I worry if it’s just going to be a waste of time.
What these thoughts are actually doing is creating that reality. The person will judge you. You won’t like them. And it will be a waste of time.
Every experience is an opportunity and a gift... why spoil it with fear? Every moment should be spent conquering the beast of self doubt, self loathing, and lack of self worth. Our life is meant to be spent in mastery, not misery.
This year, make it a point to challenge yourself to be yourself in every situation. Don’t be who your mom wants you to be (although, in most cases keep it highly regarded), don’t be who your spouse wants you to be (but, do those dishes she keeps reminding you to do), and lastly don’t be who you think you should be. Figure out exactly who you are, and be it.
Pulling back years of intense anxiety is going to take work. Deciding when it’s time to quit your job and start your own business is going to take balls. It’s going to be hard and it’s going to be scary. But what you build will be your life’s creation and I promise you, it’s going to be worth it.